WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?
Michael Femi Ewetuga
Love – strong affection for someone arising out of kinship or personal ties, attraction
based on sexual desire. Those amongst others are the meaning of love according to
Webster’s dictionary.
I have been interested in love myself since I was old enough to hear the word uttered, I
have read about it, I have seen it described through the entertainment media, people
have talked about it, I have listen to artists described what love is and what it ought to
be and through my journey in life I have said it to a couple of people and it has been
said to me by more than one person. I have had feelings I could have sworn was love.
One thing that appears clear is that love is more important in terms of action than in
words, although it has dictionary meanings like all words as we have seen above. For
centuries people by their action and deeds have challenged whatever meaning was
ascribed to the word love hence you hear people use words like “words alone cannot
describe my feelings for you”. That portrays the inadequacies of words when it comes
to matter of the heart.
It seems clear enough though that the word love describes a very strong emotion that
one person feels for another. The feeling is so strong sometimes it is destructive. I
have read and I have heard people, in conveying their feelings to someone they love,
assert that they will gladly and joyously die for them. Like the Americans would say,
that is tight.
Love has so many variations which come under different name such as obsession,
jealousy, insecurity, possessiveness, lust etc. Usually, people have difficulty in
deciding what lust is and what the border line between lust and love is.
Obsession would appear to be a very strong feeling of love at least that will be the
intention before it turns fatal. People have been known to profess their love for
someone and if they as much as suspect them of messing around with other people,
they will kill them, kill whoever it was they were messing with and then kill themselves.
We read about such people in the print media and other sources of news and
information everyday. Makes you wonder what sort of feelings these guys have for their
unfortunate partners.
People have recounted what can best be described as unfortunate and disturbing
experiences such as their boyfriends or husbands physically assaulting them on the
ground that they were checking out other guys at places such as the malls, groceries,
clubs, buses, wherever. Depending on your point of view, the reason for their actions
could be as a result of the fact that they are obsessed with these people and they felt
jealous that despite being there with them they were checking out other guys.
Obsession, even if we agree is a variation of love, is negative or so everyone says.
Such love is unacceptable.
Some women too do get on their husbands for the same reason. Even though some
women cannot physically abuse their husbands they do abuse the poor guys mentally.
This sort of love could be between husbands and wives as pointed out above or it
could be between parent and child. Where such obsession for each other’s attention
exists between parent and child anyone coming into their lives would not find it funny to
break into such bond. That is why there are nosy parents and crazy step children.
Some people will gladly die for their kids and vise versa.
Some religion however seem to suggest that God has the same love for us as
portrayed by what he did to the children of Israel when they worshipped the golden calf
while Moses was at the mountain top. It was also recorded in the bible that God is a
jealous God. God will do anything for you but any fraternization with another god will
earn you eternal condemnation and roasting in the hell fire that burns for eternity
specifically designed and reserved for those who are ungrateful and unappreciative of
God’s love.
Getting married in itself is not such a bad idea but some people just do not know how
to handle married life. People have contended that marriage ought not to be a prison
term. Marriage should not be unreasonably rigid, it should not promote frustration; the
foundation of a marriage should be not just love but trust.
Love ought not to be jealous. This is a direct condemnation of the kind of love God is
said to have for man.
An exhibition of jealousy and possessiveness is termed insecurity and that, in the eyes
of the society is not how love should operate. Love without trust, it is asserted is like a
vehicle without tires or gas.
If you love and trust someone you wouldn’t need to search their cell phones, look in
their wallets and pockets or listen in on their conversation when they are receiving calls
at home.
It seems ok, especially here in America, for each spouse to have friends of opposite
sex if they so desire, the husband could have a female friend and since what is good
for the goose is good for the gander, the wife has a right to have a male friend too.
The radio station that I listen to everyday when I was in Indianapolis, whether I’m in the
house or in the car or whenever I have the time to listen to the radio is called HOT 96.3
FM. There’s a program on that station that is called JJ MID DAY DRAMA where people
are encouraged to call in or send an email intimating listeners about some drama
going on in their lives. A certain individual called in one day and told of a male friend
that his wife has had since high school or so and the wife was going on vacation with
this male friend. Civilized and modern as he was, he suddenly became rational and
sought people’s opinions as to whether it is ok or not for him to allow his wife to take
the trip with this male friend. I know what the answer would be in my country;
unfortunately I did not have the opportunity of listening to the views of the majority on
this occasion because I was on my way to the library.
Some people are of the view that if a man is single he is free to mingle but once there’
s a change in status there ought to be a change in lifestyle. Being single here means
exactly that SINGLE! If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend you are not qualified to wear the
single tag. This school of thought is of opinion that couples ought to do everything
together. To them, what business has an engaged/married man going to the club, to
shoot pool, to the theater or having any sort of fun without his partner/wife?
People with this belief are of the opinion that it is not only man that should not put
asunder what God had joined together. Nothing, animate or inanimate, should put
asunder the “joinder” of a man and a woman.
These people want to know:
Why should the cell phone be sacred? If two people come together to be one then they
must be one for all intents and purposes. Assets and liabilities should be borne
equally, there should be no such thing as my “cell phone” rather it should be “our cell
phone” regardless of whether or not we have separate cell phones.
Why should the password to the partner’s e-mail be a mystery?
To them e-mail passwords or passwords to anything for that matter should be shared
and either party should be able to open any mail regardless of who it was addressed
to whether regular or electronic mail.
Some people are of the view that couples should not place themselves in an awkward
position; people should not leave themselves with an opportunity to be tempted.
Prevention is better than cure is a popular saying where I come from. Why place
yourself in a position that will require an apology, excuses and the need to beg for a
second chance. Opportunity to cheat ought to be eliminated before it is explored.
When at work, do just that, work! Flirting with colleagues/co-workers is affording the
devil the opportunity to tempt you. If you are wise enough to prevent the devil from
tempting you into driving from the highway into the ocean, if you did not yield to his
temptation of getting you to electrocute yourself or cutting your neck then you need to be
strong and not yield to the temptation of “mistakenly” brushing your lips against some
other lips you have no business brushing your lips against. Do not allow the devil to
tempt you into mistakenly playing with toys that do not belong to you, don’t go licking
candies that are not yours, do not drive your car into someone else’s garage and leak
your oil therein. When the consequences of your acts manifest you and not the devil
will feel the heat. Don’t be a sucker for the devil. If you don’t leave an avenue for
temptation, you won’t be sorry.
........to be continued
Michael Femi Ewetuga
Love – strong affection for someone arising out of kinship or personal ties, attraction
based on sexual desire. Those amongst others are the meaning of love according to
Webster’s dictionary.
I have been interested in love myself since I was old enough to hear the word uttered, I
have read about it, I have seen it described through the entertainment media, people
have talked about it, I have listen to artists described what love is and what it ought to
be and through my journey in life I have said it to a couple of people and it has been
said to me by more than one person. I have had feelings I could have sworn was love.
One thing that appears clear is that love is more important in terms of action than in
words, although it has dictionary meanings like all words as we have seen above. For
centuries people by their action and deeds have challenged whatever meaning was
ascribed to the word love hence you hear people use words like “words alone cannot
describe my feelings for you”. That portrays the inadequacies of words when it comes
to matter of the heart.
It seems clear enough though that the word love describes a very strong emotion that
one person feels for another. The feeling is so strong sometimes it is destructive. I
have read and I have heard people, in conveying their feelings to someone they love,
assert that they will gladly and joyously die for them. Like the Americans would say,
that is tight.
Love has so many variations which come under different name such as obsession,
jealousy, insecurity, possessiveness, lust etc. Usually, people have difficulty in
deciding what lust is and what the border line between lust and love is.
Obsession would appear to be a very strong feeling of love at least that will be the
intention before it turns fatal. People have been known to profess their love for
someone and if they as much as suspect them of messing around with other people,
they will kill them, kill whoever it was they were messing with and then kill themselves.
We read about such people in the print media and other sources of news and
information everyday. Makes you wonder what sort of feelings these guys have for their
unfortunate partners.
People have recounted what can best be described as unfortunate and disturbing
experiences such as their boyfriends or husbands physically assaulting them on the
ground that they were checking out other guys at places such as the malls, groceries,
clubs, buses, wherever. Depending on your point of view, the reason for their actions
could be as a result of the fact that they are obsessed with these people and they felt
jealous that despite being there with them they were checking out other guys.
Obsession, even if we agree is a variation of love, is negative or so everyone says.
Such love is unacceptable.
Some women too do get on their husbands for the same reason. Even though some
women cannot physically abuse their husbands they do abuse the poor guys mentally.
This sort of love could be between husbands and wives as pointed out above or it
could be between parent and child. Where such obsession for each other’s attention
exists between parent and child anyone coming into their lives would not find it funny to
break into such bond. That is why there are nosy parents and crazy step children.
Some people will gladly die for their kids and vise versa.
Some religion however seem to suggest that God has the same love for us as
portrayed by what he did to the children of Israel when they worshipped the golden calf
while Moses was at the mountain top. It was also recorded in the bible that God is a
jealous God. God will do anything for you but any fraternization with another god will
earn you eternal condemnation and roasting in the hell fire that burns for eternity
specifically designed and reserved for those who are ungrateful and unappreciative of
God’s love.
Getting married in itself is not such a bad idea but some people just do not know how
to handle married life. People have contended that marriage ought not to be a prison
term. Marriage should not be unreasonably rigid, it should not promote frustration; the
foundation of a marriage should be not just love but trust.
Love ought not to be jealous. This is a direct condemnation of the kind of love God is
said to have for man.
An exhibition of jealousy and possessiveness is termed insecurity and that, in the eyes
of the society is not how love should operate. Love without trust, it is asserted is like a
vehicle without tires or gas.
If you love and trust someone you wouldn’t need to search their cell phones, look in
their wallets and pockets or listen in on their conversation when they are receiving calls
at home.
It seems ok, especially here in America, for each spouse to have friends of opposite
sex if they so desire, the husband could have a female friend and since what is good
for the goose is good for the gander, the wife has a right to have a male friend too.
The radio station that I listen to everyday when I was in Indianapolis, whether I’m in the
house or in the car or whenever I have the time to listen to the radio is called HOT 96.3
FM. There’s a program on that station that is called JJ MID DAY DRAMA where people
are encouraged to call in or send an email intimating listeners about some drama
going on in their lives. A certain individual called in one day and told of a male friend
that his wife has had since high school or so and the wife was going on vacation with
this male friend. Civilized and modern as he was, he suddenly became rational and
sought people’s opinions as to whether it is ok or not for him to allow his wife to take
the trip with this male friend. I know what the answer would be in my country;
unfortunately I did not have the opportunity of listening to the views of the majority on
this occasion because I was on my way to the library.
Some people are of the view that if a man is single he is free to mingle but once there’
s a change in status there ought to be a change in lifestyle. Being single here means
exactly that SINGLE! If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend you are not qualified to wear the
single tag. This school of thought is of opinion that couples ought to do everything
together. To them, what business has an engaged/married man going to the club, to
shoot pool, to the theater or having any sort of fun without his partner/wife?
People with this belief are of the opinion that it is not only man that should not put
asunder what God had joined together. Nothing, animate or inanimate, should put
asunder the “joinder” of a man and a woman.
These people want to know:
Why should the cell phone be sacred? If two people come together to be one then they
must be one for all intents and purposes. Assets and liabilities should be borne
equally, there should be no such thing as my “cell phone” rather it should be “our cell
phone” regardless of whether or not we have separate cell phones.
Why should the password to the partner’s e-mail be a mystery?
To them e-mail passwords or passwords to anything for that matter should be shared
and either party should be able to open any mail regardless of who it was addressed
to whether regular or electronic mail.
Some people are of the view that couples should not place themselves in an awkward
position; people should not leave themselves with an opportunity to be tempted.
Prevention is better than cure is a popular saying where I come from. Why place
yourself in a position that will require an apology, excuses and the need to beg for a
second chance. Opportunity to cheat ought to be eliminated before it is explored.
When at work, do just that, work! Flirting with colleagues/co-workers is affording the
devil the opportunity to tempt you. If you are wise enough to prevent the devil from
tempting you into driving from the highway into the ocean, if you did not yield to his
temptation of getting you to electrocute yourself or cutting your neck then you need to be
strong and not yield to the temptation of “mistakenly” brushing your lips against some
other lips you have no business brushing your lips against. Do not allow the devil to
tempt you into mistakenly playing with toys that do not belong to you, don’t go licking
candies that are not yours, do not drive your car into someone else’s garage and leak
your oil therein. When the consequences of your acts manifest you and not the devil
will feel the heat. Don’t be a sucker for the devil. If you don’t leave an avenue for
temptation, you won’t be sorry.
........to be continued
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