UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Michael O. Ewetuga
If you are old enough to follow the Nigerian music scene in the 70s, 80s and beyond,
especially the foreign music scene you, no doubt, remember THE MUSICAL YOUTH you
probably remember their chart buster “Pass the Dutchie”, that certainly made some
waves.
If you are familiar with music at about the same period also you definitely remember
DONNA SUMMER, she was a big star at that time, if you remember the group earlier
mentioned and Donna, you may have heard their collaboration “Unconditional Love” and
if you, like me, love that song you most certainly will remember the lyrics:
“Give me your unconditional love, kind of love I deserve and kind I want to return”
The question is, is there such a thing as unconditional love?
Relevant definitions of the word unconditional by dictionary.com are as follows:
not limited by conditions; absolute: an unconditional promise.
Synonyms 1. complete, unqualified, categorical
not modified or restricted by reservations; "a categorical denial"; "a flat refusal" [syn:
not contingent; not determined or influenced by someone or something else
complete and absolute, and not dependent on certain terms or conditions
I am assuming we know what love is, but for the avoidance of doubt I should put the
definitions of love, it’s only fair isn’t it, just so we are on the same page as to what we are
about to look at.
According to the same website love is:
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
sexual passion or desire.
a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
There are so many definitions of love, so much so that if I continue we might end up with
a thesis on that subject, suffice it to say unconditional love is a love that is freely given by
one individual to another regardless of exterior consideration and here, I am talking
about love as between two people who wishes to obtain each other’s love forever and
solidifying same via the institution of marriage.
Some people are in love with love itself, it makes one’s heart beat quicker when you
receive a phone call from the person you have that kind of feeling for, a feeling that could
turn an otherwise sane and rational person to insane and irrational by an interested party
an uninterested observant might be intrigued by the drama of love. Interested parties of
course are those who will feel insulted, alienated or humiliated by an act of love if they
feel that it is directed towards someone that they view as being undeserving of that
feeling.
Take for example a rich man, he sure will feel insulted, humiliated and alienated if his
only daughter falls in love with a pauper. He also will feel that his daughter deserves
better if he spends his hard earned money or not so hard earned in educating his
daughter and she chooses to marry someone who had never seen the four wall of an
elementary school more less a university.
Some fathers here in America for example do not see any good in a guy from a foreign
country, regardless of his qualifications, to them messing around with a foreigner means
you are stupid or more appropriately crazy, so you have a situation where a child comes
to the world through these “incompatible” pair and that child ended up in the middle of a
war based on prejudice. To give that child a better life it might be better to just stay out of
his life if that will ameliorate the kind of hatred that some people will feel because his
dad is a foreigner, I wonder what the situation will be if the dad were to be an alien as
portrayed on television. Is the action going to hurt the dad or the child? After all it is the
child that is being stripped of his heritage, his identity, something some individuals
ended up paying thousands of dollars for just to find out on ancestry.com and other such
services.
I usually go to a particular dating site to send notes to ladies to adorn my website by
being the queen of the week; I saw one profile, one day that made me conclude that
there could be nothing like unconditional love. Granted all the ladies there require some
qualities from you should you be interested in them.
I never really read their pages, since my intention is sending them a note to be queen of
the week, but one did catch my attention.
Have you ever ordered pizza on the phone, online or in person? What I saw on some of
the profiles is not better than ordering a pizza, especially when you need some specific
toppings.
The particular profile that caught my eyes reads, roughly like this:
“if you are in Africa, or your parents are Africans, or you are originally from Africa please
do not send me a note”
Does this look like something from a white lady, you probably jumped to that conclusion.
The lady is not white, she is as black as you and I, if you are black, if you are white or
some other color as dictated by those who deemed it fit to color human beings, then she
is not like you. She is what is referred to as an African American and in your employment
form she will tick the same place as an African since most employment forms I have
seen grouped black people thus: “Black/African/African-American” or something of that
nature.
Some African Americans whose daughters had children for Africans were also instructed
not to give their children African names, as if that will take anything away from the dad,
the children, of course will be brought up as African Americans or just Americans and
that is because I once overheard a black American telling someone not to call her African
American, she is American period. Don’t be surprised if an African American refers to
Africans as you people, sounds like a white man to a black man? Well no, this is a black
American referring to his supposedly brother in a derogative manner.
Most of us are guilty of this kind of hate anyway so there’s no reason to blame others
while cunningly exonerating ourselves. I remember back home, guys see nothing wrong
in a guy dating a girl from another part of the country but let a girl from their own part of
the country date a guy from outside that class and you see all sort of condemnations. If
guys are generous to overlook a relationship between a guy from another part of the
country and a girl from their own part of the country they sure will find it not only ridiculous
but absolutely insane if the guy is not only from another part of the country but also
uneducated and the girl is, then of course she must be the most stupid person on the
face of the universe.
Is a matter of the heart not supposed to be private and are the parties involved not the
best candidates to determine what is best for them? Are we going to live other people’s
lives for them? Is happiness not the main issue in a relationship? If someone got
married to another because of financial consideration would such relationship not end
the moment the financial security disappears? What is the essence of an educated
abuser for example?
Take a look around you and tell me if indeed love reigns and if it does is there such thing
as unconditional love?
Michael O. Ewetuga
If you are old enough to follow the Nigerian music scene in the 70s, 80s and beyond,
especially the foreign music scene you, no doubt, remember THE MUSICAL YOUTH you
probably remember their chart buster “Pass the Dutchie”, that certainly made some
waves.
If you are familiar with music at about the same period also you definitely remember
DONNA SUMMER, she was a big star at that time, if you remember the group earlier
mentioned and Donna, you may have heard their collaboration “Unconditional Love” and
if you, like me, love that song you most certainly will remember the lyrics:
“Give me your unconditional love, kind of love I deserve and kind I want to return”
The question is, is there such a thing as unconditional love?
Relevant definitions of the word unconditional by dictionary.com are as follows:
not limited by conditions; absolute: an unconditional promise.
Synonyms 1. complete, unqualified, categorical
not modified or restricted by reservations; "a categorical denial"; "a flat refusal" [syn:
not contingent; not determined or influenced by someone or something else
complete and absolute, and not dependent on certain terms or conditions
I am assuming we know what love is, but for the avoidance of doubt I should put the
definitions of love, it’s only fair isn’t it, just so we are on the same page as to what we are
about to look at.
According to the same website love is:
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
sexual passion or desire.
a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
There are so many definitions of love, so much so that if I continue we might end up with
a thesis on that subject, suffice it to say unconditional love is a love that is freely given by
one individual to another regardless of exterior consideration and here, I am talking
about love as between two people who wishes to obtain each other’s love forever and
solidifying same via the institution of marriage.
Some people are in love with love itself, it makes one’s heart beat quicker when you
receive a phone call from the person you have that kind of feeling for, a feeling that could
turn an otherwise sane and rational person to insane and irrational by an interested party
an uninterested observant might be intrigued by the drama of love. Interested parties of
course are those who will feel insulted, alienated or humiliated by an act of love if they
feel that it is directed towards someone that they view as being undeserving of that
feeling.
Take for example a rich man, he sure will feel insulted, humiliated and alienated if his
only daughter falls in love with a pauper. He also will feel that his daughter deserves
better if he spends his hard earned money or not so hard earned in educating his
daughter and she chooses to marry someone who had never seen the four wall of an
elementary school more less a university.
Some fathers here in America for example do not see any good in a guy from a foreign
country, regardless of his qualifications, to them messing around with a foreigner means
you are stupid or more appropriately crazy, so you have a situation where a child comes
to the world through these “incompatible” pair and that child ended up in the middle of a
war based on prejudice. To give that child a better life it might be better to just stay out of
his life if that will ameliorate the kind of hatred that some people will feel because his
dad is a foreigner, I wonder what the situation will be if the dad were to be an alien as
portrayed on television. Is the action going to hurt the dad or the child? After all it is the
child that is being stripped of his heritage, his identity, something some individuals
ended up paying thousands of dollars for just to find out on ancestry.com and other such
services.
I usually go to a particular dating site to send notes to ladies to adorn my website by
being the queen of the week; I saw one profile, one day that made me conclude that
there could be nothing like unconditional love. Granted all the ladies there require some
qualities from you should you be interested in them.
I never really read their pages, since my intention is sending them a note to be queen of
the week, but one did catch my attention.
Have you ever ordered pizza on the phone, online or in person? What I saw on some of
the profiles is not better than ordering a pizza, especially when you need some specific
toppings.
The particular profile that caught my eyes reads, roughly like this:
“if you are in Africa, or your parents are Africans, or you are originally from Africa please
do not send me a note”
Does this look like something from a white lady, you probably jumped to that conclusion.
The lady is not white, she is as black as you and I, if you are black, if you are white or
some other color as dictated by those who deemed it fit to color human beings, then she
is not like you. She is what is referred to as an African American and in your employment
form she will tick the same place as an African since most employment forms I have
seen grouped black people thus: “Black/African/African-American” or something of that
nature.
Some African Americans whose daughters had children for Africans were also instructed
not to give their children African names, as if that will take anything away from the dad,
the children, of course will be brought up as African Americans or just Americans and
that is because I once overheard a black American telling someone not to call her African
American, she is American period. Don’t be surprised if an African American refers to
Africans as you people, sounds like a white man to a black man? Well no, this is a black
American referring to his supposedly brother in a derogative manner.
Most of us are guilty of this kind of hate anyway so there’s no reason to blame others
while cunningly exonerating ourselves. I remember back home, guys see nothing wrong
in a guy dating a girl from another part of the country but let a girl from their own part of
the country date a guy from outside that class and you see all sort of condemnations. If
guys are generous to overlook a relationship between a guy from another part of the
country and a girl from their own part of the country they sure will find it not only ridiculous
but absolutely insane if the guy is not only from another part of the country but also
uneducated and the girl is, then of course she must be the most stupid person on the
face of the universe.
Is a matter of the heart not supposed to be private and are the parties involved not the
best candidates to determine what is best for them? Are we going to live other people’s
lives for them? Is happiness not the main issue in a relationship? If someone got
married to another because of financial consideration would such relationship not end
the moment the financial security disappears? What is the essence of an educated
abuser for example?
Take a look around you and tell me if indeed love reigns and if it does is there such thing
as unconditional love?
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