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LOVE IS ALL THAT MATTERS
Michael Ewetuga
It’s been a long time since last I went to a funeral. I thought about it now and the last one I
could remember was my dad’s in 1982, until recently that is.
I generally don’t like funerals, especially of a young person; I hate to see people crying
ostensibly for the dead when all they are really crying about is their own loss. What
he/she would not be able to do for them any longer. Most times I envy the departed; it’s
not as if this world is so fantastic that anyone would want to hold on to it. Not that I’m
suicidal, far from it. To be truthful I do think about it sometimes but too cowardly to carry it
out, if I could maybe I would. Plus I have responsibilities, even though I can’t seem to
catch up with it these days.
Not catching up with my responsibilities, I dare say is not my fault, at least I don’t think it is,
a situation that made someone to call me a failure very recently, after all I am 40 and
cannot really lay claim to any property or some fancy cars or some fancy office or house. I
do have a law degree and a law license to practice in America, what good does that do
you when it is not translating to money, the only language most fools understand. Most of
my heroes were not rich materially anyway, intellectually they are giants and when the fool
is parted with his money intelligence stands the test of time.
I avoid the dead like the plaque whenever I can and when I do go the person is either very
dear to me or close to someone that is dear to me.
I observe people at funerals. All sort of people, it is indeed the gathering of the good the
bad and the ugly. The pastor, if there’s one would tell us about life and how the person
had lived a good life. I bet if I die today and the family can afford to give me a burial and a
pastor were to be there, no matter how much anyone thinks I am a failure I would still have
lived a good life, wouldn’t I? People that consider me a failure would suddenly have a
different view of me; after all you don’t speak badly about the dead. My life would
suddenly be one that is worthy of emulation.
At a funeral someone said no matter how strong you are you can’t win the fight against
death and said of that dead person “she had fought many battle but this is a battle she
lost” I thought that wasn’t very nice but facts are hardly ever nice. Another person stood
up to say she won the battle against death, everyone, including me, seems to like that but
the fact is no one wins the fight against death, maybe cancer these days but not death.
The pastor too glorifies the person’s death by saying she said she was ready, are we ever
really ready?
I like to think I am ready sometimes, when I look at my responsibilities, most of which I
cannot meet like I said earlier, it would be so very selfish to say I am. Ready or not death
doesn’t really give a damn, when it’s your turn you are gone.
So there was the pastor talking about brevity of live, the uncertainty and the futility of the
things we place some premium on and how it is a better place up there and so on and so
forth. Whether or not there’s a better place I can’t say, death seems to have such finality
about it, you don’t ever see the person again although the pastor did not agree, the
person was born again and is presently feasting with the savior but if you must see her
again you must be born again too, he says.
That must have been a bit difficult for some family members who are Muslims. Probably
that will be the last time they see that particular person since according to the Christian
doctrine they will not be seeing heaven after all what is the connection between light and
darkness, remember “do not be unequally yoked with the unbeliever”. Perhaps to those
Muslims she won’t be going to heaven, after all “you may be born as many times as you
want but die not except as a Muslim” I guess God must be the judge in that contest but
then we won’t know until the judgment day since “it is appointed unto man once to die and
after that judgment”.
When I am cold dead and laying in a casket, assuming there is one, I wonder what they
would be reading, probably the bible since majority of my family are Christians and I was
born one or maybe one of my sisters all of whom are married to Muslims would bury me
and it would be according to the Muslim’s rites, as the papers usually say.
I lost my niece once, she was going to be one, my sister’s first child, she did not have
another one for a long time after that. She was so bitter, she cried, she was inconsolable.
That was then, life continues, I wonder how many times the dead girl crosses her mind
these days. When 56 years old people die these days I think they were young, they were
56, maybe younger, they must be young to me, I am 40 and that means 16 years time,
frightening isn’t it? At 56 my oldest will be around 25 going on 26, I wonder what he would
think.
So the pastor said the things we care about in this world doesn’t matter, some people
wrote down the messages including that one but would that make them not think much
about someone leaving a scratch on their cars or their valuable tables? You bet it won’t.
the pastor might have said worldly possession does not matter and they might have
written it down but that is all about going through the motion of funeral, if anyone’s car
was stolen at the end of the funeral service or his/her house bugled I bet it will be another
grieving moment.
Love is all that matters, says the pastor. Maybe, maybe not. What do we understand by
love anyway?
Is love admiration or affection or consideration or what?
Love and marriage, I love some bible verses on them:
"When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. Her husband entrusting his
heart to her, has an unfailing prize."
Proverbs 31:10-11
I wonder what makes a wife worthy, is it the love she bestows on her husband or is it her
value in terms of decision making in this economically challenged world?
So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no
human being must separate."
Mark 10 2-16
That makes me laugh for real for what God has joined together, if he did and not the
pastors anyway, the judges will gladly put asunder making pronouncements on division of
property and child support. Check your local newspapers for details. And oh, we’re
Christians aren’t we?
"I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have
no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell. I may have the gift of
inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have the
faith needed to move mountains-but if I have no love, I am nothing. I may give away
everything I have, and even give up my body to be burned-but if I have no love, this does
me no good."
1 Corinthians, 13:1-13
In order words whatever it is that we possess if there’s no love they are nothing, I bet this
does not stop people for marrying for reasons other than love as in security for instance.
Well, I can go on and on. I have been interested in love for a long time, I wonder
sometimes if I have it, I can tell you no one says it to me these days and I hardly ever say
it to someone else, I do say it sometimes, but at other times I wonder if we do love for real.
I love the idea of love even though some people do not believe in it. Sometimes people
say I am not ready for love but I wonder, do you get ready for love or does it just happen?
I think the idea of whether or not we are ready for it is the reason why we choose wrong
partners. Some people say “I don’t fall in love easy” is there a measurement as to when
someone should fall in love? I believe when you are the one determining when you fall or
not fall in love the best you can have under such situation is affection and not love, you
just met a guy and you love some qualities in him, that’s what happened, not that you love
him. After falling in love with the qualities and not the guy and you eventually broke up
you claimed your heart is broken, you never loved with your heart in the first instance.
I have also heard people say “I love him I’m not just in love with him”. I wonder what stupid
individual came up with that saying, bringing complexities into an otherwise simple
phenomenon. You either love someone or you don’t, you might have affection for
someone or care about them those things are not the same as being in love with them, so
I think it is acceptable to say “I care about him but I don’t love him” than to say “I love him I’
m just not in love with him” that sounds so unintelligible, a work of a tardy thinker. That’s
my opinion of course.
Most people’s minds are closed, thinking they are wise and it is that wisdom that will make
love escape them, perhaps for eternity. We love with our head rather than with our mind.
When and if eventually they find love that’s when you hear them say “I have never felt like
this before” and that would be after telling several men and women they love them.
When you love, you will experience the glory and you will be in it for a lifetime, nothing is
ever going to break it and nothing will ever make it fizzle away. If we continue looking for
criteria in other to fall in love, like asking someone to submit a resume for a job when the
qualities enumerated in the resume fizzle “love” fizzles with it. Look at people’s profile on
dating sites and look at classified section of your newspapers on jobs, you will see
similarities. Don’t be surprised to see something like this:
I am looking for a black/white man, with a job, no wife no kids, pets are ok. No mommy or
baby mama’s drama, no child support and absolutely no girlfriend. He/she must be
between the ages of 20 and 35, with no prior criminal convictions. Absolutely no African,
Mexican Puerto Ricans or Jamaicans, on second thought, Jamaicans may apply cause me
and my girlfriends are visiting Jamaica in June. I am 45 years old love younger men and I
have 5 children.
If we continue using all these unnecessary criteria to fall in love we will never really be
happy and we will continue to jump from one partner to another. Internet is a good thing
but it has made it worse too since we feel like we can just dispose of one partner and jump
in with another one. Music doesn’t help either, remember “you must not know bout me, I
can find another you in a minute”
Whatever matters, when the time comes you will lie alone in your casket, unmoving,
lifeless and don’t think you have done anything spectacular such as your life being a
lesson for others to follow. They will make their own mistakes and die leaving all these
things that they hold so dare.
Why am I even writing about death during Christmas period? Maybe I won’t post this or
maybe I will, not my intention to mess anyone’s Christmas up. Why not write about death,
after all this is Jesus’ birthday (some said he wasn’t born at this time of the year, Roman’s
culture?), someone who died for others’ sins, maybe I will go ahead and post it, good or
bad, it depends on what you want out of it.
Happy Christmas and I wish everyone that was part of www.minoritiesinterests.com this
year a very merry one, especially Bro. George Malik al-Mahdi who incidentally might not
be celebrating Christmas since he’s a Muslim and Rev. George Michael Okafor who will be
very much involved in Christmas festivities.
To all those who took time to read my articles this year on whatever website, I really
appreciate your readership. If I don’t get to write another one before New Year since I am
busy looking for a job so I will cease to be a failure, happy New Year too.
Comment:
name = George Malik Al-Mahdi
email = breathing_peace@msn.com
subject = The Power-laden articles of Mr. Michael Ewatuga
Hello brother,
You don't know how much I enjoyed reading through some of your
articles. You made too many good points for one particular point to stand out.
There is one that you and I mutually agree with; death as being an
escape, rather than something to fear. The United States is strange in
that death is somewhat of a taboo topic; only discussed by "crazy" people.
Being that we ALL must die, it seems pretty crazy to me that this
isn't a top topic of discussion amoungst people.
We live in a terrible World; period. People who say that "life is
good", regarding ALL of humanity, do so out of ignorance. For example,
60,000 people die each year, because their intestines are so full of
tapeworms, that they can't digest food. Malnuorishment sets in, and they
soon die. Then there's the child sex-slave industry, war, poverty,
racism, classism..........AND NO END TO THESE PROBLEMS IN SIGHT.
America could do a better job of addressing some of these issues, but
we've beened poisoned by an entertainment culture. I absolutely LOVED
the comment you (Mr. Ewatuga) made about the dating ADs, stating that
many Ads say "No Mexicans, so forth, and so one.........then again,
Jamaicans are alright, because I plan on going to Jamaica in the summer.
I must go and read. I'd have to stay up all-night to finish praising
your articles. I wish you'd seriously consider joining African American
Opinion and Social Networking. White folks and Jews have joined (can
you believe that?), and some Brothers/Sisters from other parts of the
World. If you joined, your voice would be of great influence upon the
readership (which is large). You could even post some of those
wonderful articles you've already written, either to inspire new topics of
conversation, or to add to some train-of-thought someone else has started.
So, in the meantime, happy holidays! Let's fight like hell for the
sake of good, yet hope our day of rest isn't too far off.
George
P.S. I've asked Allah for between 70 to 75 years, max. If I haven't
done all that I want to by then, so be it. Take me up out of hell, back
home to heaven.
Michael Ewetuga
It’s been a long time since last I went to a funeral. I thought about it now and the last one I
could remember was my dad’s in 1982, until recently that is.
I generally don’t like funerals, especially of a young person; I hate to see people crying
ostensibly for the dead when all they are really crying about is their own loss. What
he/she would not be able to do for them any longer. Most times I envy the departed; it’s
not as if this world is so fantastic that anyone would want to hold on to it. Not that I’m
suicidal, far from it. To be truthful I do think about it sometimes but too cowardly to carry it
out, if I could maybe I would. Plus I have responsibilities, even though I can’t seem to
catch up with it these days.
Not catching up with my responsibilities, I dare say is not my fault, at least I don’t think it is,
a situation that made someone to call me a failure very recently, after all I am 40 and
cannot really lay claim to any property or some fancy cars or some fancy office or house. I
do have a law degree and a law license to practice in America, what good does that do
you when it is not translating to money, the only language most fools understand. Most of
my heroes were not rich materially anyway, intellectually they are giants and when the fool
is parted with his money intelligence stands the test of time.
I avoid the dead like the plaque whenever I can and when I do go the person is either very
dear to me or close to someone that is dear to me.
I observe people at funerals. All sort of people, it is indeed the gathering of the good the
bad and the ugly. The pastor, if there’s one would tell us about life and how the person
had lived a good life. I bet if I die today and the family can afford to give me a burial and a
pastor were to be there, no matter how much anyone thinks I am a failure I would still have
lived a good life, wouldn’t I? People that consider me a failure would suddenly have a
different view of me; after all you don’t speak badly about the dead. My life would
suddenly be one that is worthy of emulation.
At a funeral someone said no matter how strong you are you can’t win the fight against
death and said of that dead person “she had fought many battle but this is a battle she
lost” I thought that wasn’t very nice but facts are hardly ever nice. Another person stood
up to say she won the battle against death, everyone, including me, seems to like that but
the fact is no one wins the fight against death, maybe cancer these days but not death.
The pastor too glorifies the person’s death by saying she said she was ready, are we ever
really ready?
I like to think I am ready sometimes, when I look at my responsibilities, most of which I
cannot meet like I said earlier, it would be so very selfish to say I am. Ready or not death
doesn’t really give a damn, when it’s your turn you are gone.
So there was the pastor talking about brevity of live, the uncertainty and the futility of the
things we place some premium on and how it is a better place up there and so on and so
forth. Whether or not there’s a better place I can’t say, death seems to have such finality
about it, you don’t ever see the person again although the pastor did not agree, the
person was born again and is presently feasting with the savior but if you must see her
again you must be born again too, he says.
That must have been a bit difficult for some family members who are Muslims. Probably
that will be the last time they see that particular person since according to the Christian
doctrine they will not be seeing heaven after all what is the connection between light and
darkness, remember “do not be unequally yoked with the unbeliever”. Perhaps to those
Muslims she won’t be going to heaven, after all “you may be born as many times as you
want but die not except as a Muslim” I guess God must be the judge in that contest but
then we won’t know until the judgment day since “it is appointed unto man once to die and
after that judgment”.
When I am cold dead and laying in a casket, assuming there is one, I wonder what they
would be reading, probably the bible since majority of my family are Christians and I was
born one or maybe one of my sisters all of whom are married to Muslims would bury me
and it would be according to the Muslim’s rites, as the papers usually say.
I lost my niece once, she was going to be one, my sister’s first child, she did not have
another one for a long time after that. She was so bitter, she cried, she was inconsolable.
That was then, life continues, I wonder how many times the dead girl crosses her mind
these days. When 56 years old people die these days I think they were young, they were
56, maybe younger, they must be young to me, I am 40 and that means 16 years time,
frightening isn’t it? At 56 my oldest will be around 25 going on 26, I wonder what he would
think.
So the pastor said the things we care about in this world doesn’t matter, some people
wrote down the messages including that one but would that make them not think much
about someone leaving a scratch on their cars or their valuable tables? You bet it won’t.
the pastor might have said worldly possession does not matter and they might have
written it down but that is all about going through the motion of funeral, if anyone’s car
was stolen at the end of the funeral service or his/her house bugled I bet it will be another
grieving moment.
Love is all that matters, says the pastor. Maybe, maybe not. What do we understand by
love anyway?
Is love admiration or affection or consideration or what?
Love and marriage, I love some bible verses on them:
"When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. Her husband entrusting his
heart to her, has an unfailing prize."
Proverbs 31:10-11
I wonder what makes a wife worthy, is it the love she bestows on her husband or is it her
value in terms of decision making in this economically challenged world?
So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no
human being must separate."
Mark 10 2-16
That makes me laugh for real for what God has joined together, if he did and not the
pastors anyway, the judges will gladly put asunder making pronouncements on division of
property and child support. Check your local newspapers for details. And oh, we’re
Christians aren’t we?
"I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have
no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell. I may have the gift of
inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have the
faith needed to move mountains-but if I have no love, I am nothing. I may give away
everything I have, and even give up my body to be burned-but if I have no love, this does
me no good."
1 Corinthians, 13:1-13
In order words whatever it is that we possess if there’s no love they are nothing, I bet this
does not stop people for marrying for reasons other than love as in security for instance.
Well, I can go on and on. I have been interested in love for a long time, I wonder
sometimes if I have it, I can tell you no one says it to me these days and I hardly ever say
it to someone else, I do say it sometimes, but at other times I wonder if we do love for real.
I love the idea of love even though some people do not believe in it. Sometimes people
say I am not ready for love but I wonder, do you get ready for love or does it just happen?
I think the idea of whether or not we are ready for it is the reason why we choose wrong
partners. Some people say “I don’t fall in love easy” is there a measurement as to when
someone should fall in love? I believe when you are the one determining when you fall or
not fall in love the best you can have under such situation is affection and not love, you
just met a guy and you love some qualities in him, that’s what happened, not that you love
him. After falling in love with the qualities and not the guy and you eventually broke up
you claimed your heart is broken, you never loved with your heart in the first instance.
I have also heard people say “I love him I’m not just in love with him”. I wonder what stupid
individual came up with that saying, bringing complexities into an otherwise simple
phenomenon. You either love someone or you don’t, you might have affection for
someone or care about them those things are not the same as being in love with them, so
I think it is acceptable to say “I care about him but I don’t love him” than to say “I love him I’
m just not in love with him” that sounds so unintelligible, a work of a tardy thinker. That’s
my opinion of course.
Most people’s minds are closed, thinking they are wise and it is that wisdom that will make
love escape them, perhaps for eternity. We love with our head rather than with our mind.
When and if eventually they find love that’s when you hear them say “I have never felt like
this before” and that would be after telling several men and women they love them.
When you love, you will experience the glory and you will be in it for a lifetime, nothing is
ever going to break it and nothing will ever make it fizzle away. If we continue looking for
criteria in other to fall in love, like asking someone to submit a resume for a job when the
qualities enumerated in the resume fizzle “love” fizzles with it. Look at people’s profile on
dating sites and look at classified section of your newspapers on jobs, you will see
similarities. Don’t be surprised to see something like this:
I am looking for a black/white man, with a job, no wife no kids, pets are ok. No mommy or
baby mama’s drama, no child support and absolutely no girlfriend. He/she must be
between the ages of 20 and 35, with no prior criminal convictions. Absolutely no African,
Mexican Puerto Ricans or Jamaicans, on second thought, Jamaicans may apply cause me
and my girlfriends are visiting Jamaica in June. I am 45 years old love younger men and I
have 5 children.
If we continue using all these unnecessary criteria to fall in love we will never really be
happy and we will continue to jump from one partner to another. Internet is a good thing
but it has made it worse too since we feel like we can just dispose of one partner and jump
in with another one. Music doesn’t help either, remember “you must not know bout me, I
can find another you in a minute”
Whatever matters, when the time comes you will lie alone in your casket, unmoving,
lifeless and don’t think you have done anything spectacular such as your life being a
lesson for others to follow. They will make their own mistakes and die leaving all these
things that they hold so dare.
Why am I even writing about death during Christmas period? Maybe I won’t post this or
maybe I will, not my intention to mess anyone’s Christmas up. Why not write about death,
after all this is Jesus’ birthday (some said he wasn’t born at this time of the year, Roman’s
culture?), someone who died for others’ sins, maybe I will go ahead and post it, good or
bad, it depends on what you want out of it.
Happy Christmas and I wish everyone that was part of www.minoritiesinterests.com this
year a very merry one, especially Bro. George Malik al-Mahdi who incidentally might not
be celebrating Christmas since he’s a Muslim and Rev. George Michael Okafor who will be
very much involved in Christmas festivities.
To all those who took time to read my articles this year on whatever website, I really
appreciate your readership. If I don’t get to write another one before New Year since I am
busy looking for a job so I will cease to be a failure, happy New Year too.
Comment:
name = George Malik Al-Mahdi
email = breathing_peace@msn.com
subject = The Power-laden articles of Mr. Michael Ewatuga
Hello brother,
You don't know how much I enjoyed reading through some of your
articles. You made too many good points for one particular point to stand out.
There is one that you and I mutually agree with; death as being an
escape, rather than something to fear. The United States is strange in
that death is somewhat of a taboo topic; only discussed by "crazy" people.
Being that we ALL must die, it seems pretty crazy to me that this
isn't a top topic of discussion amoungst people.
We live in a terrible World; period. People who say that "life is
good", regarding ALL of humanity, do so out of ignorance. For example,
60,000 people die each year, because their intestines are so full of
tapeworms, that they can't digest food. Malnuorishment sets in, and they
soon die. Then there's the child sex-slave industry, war, poverty,
racism, classism..........AND NO END TO THESE PROBLEMS IN SIGHT.
America could do a better job of addressing some of these issues, but
we've beened poisoned by an entertainment culture. I absolutely LOVED
the comment you (Mr. Ewatuga) made about the dating ADs, stating that
many Ads say "No Mexicans, so forth, and so one.........then again,
Jamaicans are alright, because I plan on going to Jamaica in the summer.
I must go and read. I'd have to stay up all-night to finish praising
your articles. I wish you'd seriously consider joining African American
Opinion and Social Networking. White folks and Jews have joined (can
you believe that?), and some Brothers/Sisters from other parts of the
World. If you joined, your voice would be of great influence upon the
readership (which is large). You could even post some of those
wonderful articles you've already written, either to inspire new topics of
conversation, or to add to some train-of-thought someone else has started.
So, in the meantime, happy holidays! Let's fight like hell for the
sake of good, yet hope our day of rest isn't too far off.
George
P.S. I've asked Allah for between 70 to 75 years, max. If I haven't
done all that I want to by then, so be it. Take me up out of hell, back
home to heaven.